An Hour's Worth of Emotions

Today let’s revisit a prompt from 2014 - May is Mental Health Month so now seems like a great time to explore the emotional side of living with, or caring for someone with, diabetes. What things can make dealing with diabetes an emotional issue for you and / or your loved one, and how do you cope?

I present to you the story of the events of Monday morning, with words describing our wide-ranging emotions about said events highlighted in bold print:

On Monday, my kid arrived at school anxious- not about the first day of standardized testing, but about which teacher had been chosen to proctor her private testing room. Her 504 plan has accommodations allowing her to stop and restart testing to deal with any diabetes issues, so she is separated from other kids since her test might be timed differently than that of others. "It's so awkward, mom, I hope it's a teacher I know at least." She checked the list posted in the school lobby and was confused. She had, inexplicably, been assigned to a room with a large group of special education kids. The texts to me began...

"Help! What do I do?"

"Go to guidance and explain that you've been told you were testing alone."

We texted back and forth for 25 minutes or so while she sat in the guidance office. People came in and out asking her questions and then disappearing for stretches of time. All of the teachers not assigned to a testing room were summoned to the principal's office via the PA system. She eventually stopped answering my texts at which point I assumed the situation had been resolved and that she had started taking the test somewhere- with someone.

Scrolling back through those texts, the words and emojis described the following emotions:

Surprise
Anger
Confusion
Frustration
Boredom
Impatience
Sadness
Anxiety
Loneliness
Aggravation
Annoyance
Hope
Disbelief
Stress

Those were interspersed, because how else were we going to cope, with

Amusement and
Laughter



In the end she was relieved that it got resolved, and amazed that the stress hadn't spiked her blood sugar. We were surprised that the rules required 2 teachers to be in the room with her and thankful that they were two teachers she knew and liked. They helped her settle in well and she feels confident about how she did on the day's tests.

In the end, I was proud of her for handling the situation herself and happy that technology allowed me to support her via text.

I would be embarrassed, however, if school officials discovered the number of circus-themed emojis I sent over the course of the morning.

While this story highlights in a somewhat lighthearted way how diabetes can lead to a wide range of emotions in just an hour of every day life, the possibility of long-term serious mental health issues is real. Depression, burnout, anxiety and other mental health issues impact most people with diabetes and their caregivers at one time or another. To read other perspectives on this topic, click here.

Dear Diabetes

Dear Diabetes,

Please stop.

You have had your fun.  Now please leave us alone. 

The blood sugar of 400 after dinner was sarcastic, no?  Yes, we forgot to bolus for the little baked potato until after it had been eaten, but a bg that high for maybe 15 missed carbs?  Get a grip.

Then you showed up at gym the next morning.  You and gym had finally started to get along I thought.  But you threw in a random 40 to start the day. Why? 

Oh- yes.  I remember.  So that my kid could have a moment to ask the nurse about the next day's standardized testing plans.  Where would she be taking it?  What were the accommodations for you, diabetes? This question ended in a lunchtime meeting with the guidance counselor, a series of emails and still no firm answer.  We'll have to go with the flow for this one it seems, partly my fault for not taking note this test was coming and asking earlier. But we would've gone with the flow anyway, without having the opportunity to ask the question and waste an hour of the day with stressful communication about the answer.

As if the testing question fiasco weren't enough, the low also resulted in missing most of Spanish class, where the assignment to do a project on a famous Hispanic person was handed out.  By the time she got back to the classroom Big Papi and Freda Kahlo, her first choices, had been taken.  She chose Pedro Martinez, but while the choices on the original list included links to articles in Spanish to work from, that wasn't the case for off-the-list options.  So while the class had the opportunity to complete most of the initial portion of the project in class, my daughter spent an hour at home finding an article in Spanish about Pedro and answering questions.  On a night she was supposed to have no homework due to the aforementioned tests.

Diabetes, we've had enough.  We see you.  We hear you.  We feel you.  We get it.  You've got power to derail any day you want to.  And you did.  You won the day.  Please go somewhere else to celebrate.

Respectfully,

Us

The Time-Out Room

My daughter got sent to the time out room at school today.  She got sent there because she has diabetes.

It sounds like the start to a diabetes parent horror story.  It's really not- just a bizarre one.

The 8th grade took a standardized science test today.  It's specific to our state and unrelated to the other standardized tests they took a few weeks ago.

When she took her first standardized tests (2nd grade?), she took them in a room with other kids who had school 504 medical, or individual educational accommodation plans.  This went on through 4th grade, and then in 5th and 6th, she and one other girl with a medical plan were further separated from the rest. Testing in another room allowed her to stop the test and leave the room to treat low or high blood sugars or to use the restroom.  We used this accommodation once for an episode of Nurse's Office Calisthenics.

Come 7th grade, we were told that the rules for the newly introduced test were different and that if she left the room...any room for any reason...she'd have to stop testing and make up the test another day.  Kids with both medical and educational challenges were testing in another room and being allotted extra time, but no accommodation could be made for having to actually leave the room.  So at that point, we chose to have her take the test with the 'general population.' 

Today's test, unbeknownst to us, fell under the older test's rules.  So as she sat in homeroom today, names were read off, followed by the rooms the kids were to go to.  Kids were generally being put in alphabetical order for testing.  Then came her name, followed by, 'You're going to the time-out room.'

Hilarity apparently ensued amongst her friends. The teacher said something along the lines of, 'There's a sentence I never thought I'd have to say!" 

She took the science test, by herself, in the time-out room with a Spanish teacher she didn't know very well.  She was intrigued to experience the room, had plenty of time and peace to read her book as she finished each section, and maintained a good sense of humor about it.  Would a phone call home or a check-in with the student earlier this week have been nice?  Absolutely- it was a strange surprise.  But if nothing else, diabetes surely teaches us to roll with the punches and survive by finding the humor in situations.  This one was really pretty funny. 

Bits and Pieces 4

It's been a busy week with a busy upcoming weekend.  My thoughts are scattered and it feels impossible to create an entire post about one topic.  So here are a few bits and pieces of what's on my mind:

 

My daughter had her standardized testing this week, which went better than it has other years, diabetes-wise.   She's tired of peanut butter whole wheat toast every morning, but there was no repeat of the infamous 3rd grade nurse's office workout.  I think we have a test-day breakfast winner.

 

A new favorite product is Gatorade's G2.  We bought it to aid in recovery from a stomach bug, but it's become a must for softball games too.  With something like seven carbs per 12 ounces, it's just the thing for both a sick, dehydrated kid and a budding athlete.

 

Check out the Diabetes Co-Stars Video from Sandofi. It provides 3 snippets of life with diabetes with a focus on who provides support.  As a bonus, after 10,000 views, Sandofi will donate $10,000 to the Diabetes Hands Foundation.

Last but certainly not least, 'who's your diabetes co-star' would be a great question for Diabetes Blog Week next year.  For now, there are great prompts for all seven days next week plus two wildcards to choose from.  I'll be participating and can't wait to read the thoughts of my fellow bloggers.  Stay tuned!





 



 



A Priority

Diabetes care is always a priority in our house.  An even keel of blood sugar numbers results in a happier, more energetic child on a day-to-day basis, and will hopefully lead to a longer and healthier life.  There are some days, though, when good control jumps from 'a priority' to 'the number one priority.'

Take the birthday party of a couple of weeks ago.  Considerable attention and energy was committed to frequent checking, correcting, and careful carbohydrate counting throughout the day leading up to the party.  Starting that evening with a pattern of decent numbers in the book increased the chances of a disaster-free evening.

The same attention is needed this week during the state-wide standardized tests at school.  While, as evidenced by last year's nurse's office work-out, rogue numbers are always a possibility, we're doing our best to keep them at bay. 

This week, great care is being taken in hopes of steady blood sugar through the morning tests.  The breakfast insulin bolus is given before the milk is even poured.  The measuring cups and scale are in use to calculate carbohydrates as accurately as possible.  Protein and fiber are players in the meals to lessen the possibility of big blood sugar spikes.  Mid-morning snack is also carefully counted prior to being packed up for school.

Should this happen every morning?  Of course it should.  Some days, though, a bit of unfinished homework or my own priorities for the morning distract us or limit our time.  The strawberries look like about 8 carbs but don't get measured.  The lure of toast with butter instead of peanut-butter is just too tempting.  The 'did I bolus?' conversation takes place on her way out the door. 

Diabetes drops down on our priority list once in a while.  Sometimes it's on purpose. Faced with the opportunity to eat our way through a vacation or hike a mountain, we enjoy it and do the best we can with the diabetes part.  Sometimes it's inadvertent.  We get distracted by the morning rush to school, or by an unexpected bit of fun and need to pick up the diabetes pieces afterwards.

Making diabetes the first priory all of the time does not seem reasonable.  There are times like this week when it becomes necessary.  There are other times when it's necessary to let go just a little bit.  It needs to remain a priority.  Completely forgotten, it tends to make itself known in very unpleasant ways.  Making it the only priority, though, would be letting it win, and we can't have that.