Teenage Thoughts Interrupted

This is only a sample of what I imagine is circling through my daughter's mind, on repeat, every day:

when am I eating next
4x+y=47...where do I start
what's my blood sugar
when is that English essay due
we're running in gym today so I might be low
I wonder if Molly can come over after school
I'm sitting for an hour and a half in the assembly- I'll probably be high at lunch
I love the new Nick Jonas song
the school schedule changed for the day so lunch is really early- that'll mess up my blood sugar
should I get a new mirror in my room
should I have dinner before or after tennis so I don't go low
my piano recital is on Saturday
is it site change day
which dress should I wear for 8th grade graduation
why am I high
I need to get something for grandpa's birthday
should I ask all my friends to stop and wait for me while I check my blood sugar
why are my friends arguing over where to go for lunch on Friday
how many carbs are in this dish of Italian ice
are the Red Sox on tv tonight
should I correct again or will I crash because I might only be high from being nervous about the quiz
when are auditions for the summer musical
did I silence the dexcom or is it going to alarm during the concert
maybe I'll call my cousins tonight
why are there no clean measuring cups so I can measure my rice for dinner
that panda video is adorable
should I go to the nurse for this 69 blood sugar or just eat a couple of glucose tabs at my desk
should I ask for a new phone case
I need more dexcom tape
maybe we could shop for shoes for the 8th grade dance this afternoon
I have to bring more juice boxes into school tomorrow for the nurse's office
does the library have the book I'm waiting for yet
where did I leave the meter
is it my turn in words with friends with grandma
I have to remind mom that we need to reorder the pump supplies
should I post a selfie on Instagram today or is it too soon since the last one
maybe I'll just have cucumbers and hummus for snack so I don't have to count carbs
I'm so excited about this ancient Egypt history project
I can hear the alarm but where did I leave the dexcom
this box of tic tacs is almost gone

Awareness of the Need for Support

When my neighbor's husband died suddenly a couple of weeks ago her driveway filled with cars.  The florist truck was on autopilot to her address.  People arrived carrying trays of food.  Her mailbox was full of cards.

As I pulled in my driveway this morning after school drop-off, she was leaving her house alone, headed for a day of work.

When my daughter was diagnosed with diabetes during Christmas week 2002, we were surrounded by support.  By the time we'd returned home from the hospital,  Santa and his helpers had filled our living room with toys.  There were cards and phone calls from afar.  Relatives and local friends brought us food and kept us company as we adjusted to this new and challenging way of life.

When my daughter called from the nurses office because she was low, again, last Friday, nobody was around to offer a hug.

My neighbor's grief has not gone away because three weeks have passed.  Similarly, our family's need for support has not gone away because nearly thirteen years have passed.  Both have become less visible, and less urgent.  But we'd be much better off not traveling this road alone.

November is Diabetes Awareness Month. Grateful that raising awareness is not up to me alone, I intend to narrow my focus down to just a few avenues of awareness-raising.  One area I've struggled with over the years is being open with even our closest friends about what living with this disease is really, really like.

Therefore, my personal goal for this November is to be just a little bit more candid about the frustrating, scary, and painful parts of having a child with diabetes.  Maybe just once when I meet up with a friend and she asks how I am, I'll go ahead and share that I was up half the night treating low blood sugars.  Or maybe I'll one-up a story of a cantankerous teenager with a description of what happened when I attempted to engage my child with a 300+ blood sugar in conversation yesterday afternoon.  Maybe, given the opportunity, I'll even share that there are aspects of having a kid with diabetes which terrify me.

Friends and family are no longer at our door offering hugs and asking how they can help.  The major crisis has long passed.  We appear to be doing just fine: good grades, extracurricular activities, nice friends, weekend adventures.  But it's my goal this month to raise awareness among those who care most about us that it's not all rainbows and unicorns.  That we still need their support.

Efficient

"People with chronic conditions are able to lead efficient lives when they effectively treat their disease."

This is a loose quote from my daughter's Health class notes.

I was helping her study for her quiz on non-infectious diseases.  The notes about the two types of diabetes were accurate, if vague, but this sentence gave me pause.

The Dictionary.com definition of efficient is this:

performing or functioning in the best possible manner with the least waste of time and effort; having and using requisite knowledge, skill,and industry; competent; capable

I suppose most of this is truer than my initial reaction assumed.  With the requisite skills and competency, people can manage chronic conditions and live well.

But I still struggle with the 'with the least waste of time and effort' part.  I suppose it's not 'wasted' per se, but managing diabetes takes an enormous amount of time and effort.  So much so that it decreases our efficiency in many other tasks.

Diabetes decreases my daughter's and often our entire family's efficiency in:

-preparing and eating a meal

-getting out of the house to go anywhere, even a walk around the block

-taking a shower

-getting in and out of the pool

-ordering and eating a restaurant meal

-getting through airport security

-packing for vacation or even a day trip

-any task which is sidelined by a low or high blood sugar

-sleeping through the night

And that list barely grazes the surface.  So yes, we're grateful that she has the tools to live well.  But sometimes diabetes still slows us down.  Efficient still isn't a word I'd ever choose to use to describe life with diabetes.